I am a very stressed and nervous individual. I have too much on my mind; what should I do?

I am a very stressed and nervous individual. I have too much on my mind; what should I do?

Postby birtel94 » March 23rd, 2014, 5:49 pm

Its not as fun doing my favorite activities like singing or playing the piano. I used to wake up every Saturday morning anxious to do either one of those. I seem to have lost the joy in playing the piano. I take private lessons but recently, I haven't had a lesson in 2 months because of both my loss of interest and my family's financial difficulties. Ragtime seemed to be the highest suitable challenge but it was nothing new following the same pattern of repetitive melodies. Most people have told me I'm a really good pianist ,but really, the songs I have played in public display were the hardest songs that sounded really difficult, making it look like I am a very talented pianist. I am a strange, unusual 14 year old boy but my alter ego as a pianist is what makes most people remember me. I am certain I have social anxiety because I am always nervous, breathy, and worried. I would usually come back to an embarrassing memory where I did something foolish and then remembering it would make me feel really guilty and want to slap myself. Sometimes, I become so nervous in places with important people around, I imagine how horrible it would be to do the worst possible things like... saying something rude or maybe the worst thing anyone could imagine that I should not mention. It makes me want to separate myself from society for my own good. In my younger years at a Gifted and Talented elementary school, I procrastinated on all my assignments for the one year I was enrolled in that school. Consequently, I suffered sleep deprivation from staying up late. I am actually staying up late right now finishing this question; I haven't even changed my clothing yet. Anyways, I usually robbed myself of a normal night's sleep getting at the most 6 or 7 hours rest before dragging my tired self to school. Most times i still do that but I'm concerned for my advanced classes next year. Recently last week I suffered a concussion when I hit the grass ground in pe, but disregarded it as a minor injury until I hit my head again when I was tackled and face-planted into the turf. I got a CAT scan at the cost of a minor 2% increase in a risk of cancer when my head was subject to radiation. I actually had another CAT scan years ago at that elementary school. Its depressing knowing how much I have foolishly ruined my childhood doing the most stupid things like procrastination and not being careful with my body. I think too much and I can't sleep most times for hours. I'd talk to my counselor but I can only talk with her during my scheduled class time. Sometimes, I want to scream out in despair knowing I messed myself up, messed my brain up, ruined my body's routine of rest, and acted foolishly. I am christian and my parents make me go to church every Sunday. I believe in God but I cannot say that I love God if I cannot love someone whom exists on earth. I would be lying to say I love God if I also hate this one other person. I will experience God in my own little way as my pastor has said. My father is a pastor and the burden of responsibility also weighs down on me. I feel ashamed to know I do not wish to dedicate my life to God when His Son has sacrificed Himself for me. Alot of things are stressing me out, making me depressed, and making me want to cry wishing for a friend whom would make my problems go away. In my high school, I know alot of people and many consider me a friend but I do not hang out with them because I feel unwanted and a nuisance to all. Most times I am in a teacher's room at lunch cleaning the trash on the floor to get busy or walking in the shadows to isolate myself. I want to be with others and be a part of their joy but I feel unwelcome. I want to scream in depression and wail but it would be pointless as I should be sleeping right now and my head hurts. I should really be getting rest as my doctor said to recover from my concussion but tomorrow I am certain my angry parents will make me get out of bed tomorrow telling me I should have slept earlier and still drag me to church. Today I went to a school musical play and it really took my mind off my worries because it was so amazing. But I am still very stressed. If you have read this then I thank you for taking the time to listen to my cry for help.
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birtel94
 
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Joined: October 30th, 2011, 11:42 am

I am a very stressed and nervous individual. I have too much on my mind; what should I do?

Postby welles » March 23rd, 2014, 5:50 pm

So much info husss... go to a quiet place , close your eyes. let the thoughts move one by one in your mind. watch them as spectator without giving response. be calm take some time to connect your god .Be one with the silence. you ll get your answer.

Stress can be dangerous.It can make you very ill.Dont be its prey.
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welles
 
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I am a very stressed and nervous individual. I have too much on my mind; what should I do?

Postby kort21 » March 23rd, 2014, 5:55 pm

Knock one out.
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