My mom basically told me I should kill myself?

My mom basically told me I should kill myself?

Postby brenn21 » March 15th, 2014, 10:49 am

I've had a pretty f***ked up childhood, but I feel it's just made me stronger. My mom is very mentally twisted, she thinks she was the perfect mom when really 4 out of her 6 kids want barely anything to do with her because of how she is/what shes done. And only 1 of her 6 kids are a minor, so we're not rebellious teens or anything of that sort.

Anyway, I wrote a letter to myself one day, diary-like, about forgiving her and my dad. She found it. I NEVER talk about my feelings to her, she dismisses them as a joke. She started calling the note stupid and saying that I'm making my childhood a bigger deal than it was (really mom? When I had such bad anxiety attacks I was hospitalized? When I used to hear you and my dad beating the **** out of my sister? Or when I saw you try to stab my dad on the lawn in front of me and all my siblings cause you caught him cheating? OK.)

Anyway, in the note I pretty much realized I was holding onto misplaced anger. I was angry and behind all that, hurt, because my parents were never the parents I wanted them to be so badly as a child. They just werent, they never were, they never will be (my dad died of a heroine overdose, if he was alive I'd have nothing to do with him anyway)

I've let go of a lot of that anger on my own terms, this was about 2 months ago I wrote that note, and now its so messed up shes bringing up all that stuff again when its stuff I've already resolved within myself. I'm really not doing bad either. I had some issues growing up, but being the strong, solid-souled person I am I've overcome a lot of it, through myself, and with a little help from my friends.

Basically ending off the fight of her finding that "stupid" letter, she said- "whats the point in you trying? Why dont you just give up if you're so messed up from this supposed childhood you had"

Like who says that? What kind of advice is that? I'm really not even "messed up" sure I may have some issues I'll have to deal with later in life, but considering I've been stripped of any sense of a normal family since the day I was born, I think I'm doing pretty damn well for myself.

I know not to take that comment to heart, I've just never had someone say something like that to me before, so I guess some outsiders perspective would be reassuring and helpful..:/ thanks for reading.
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My mom basically told me I should kill myself?

Postby andriel » March 15th, 2014, 10:59 am

I understand the mother dismissing the problems you care to share with her, but she really isn't one to tell you you're blowing things out of proportion. I agree that, if you are of legal age, you should leave and never look back. If you are not, contact someone involving the safety of minors. Your mother is obviously unfit to care for you. Maybe ask one of your siblings to take your in. They'll have to apply for legal custody, but that shouldn't too difficult (considering what has happened in the past). Don't let her bother you. She's just upset her life didn't turn out the way she wanted it to.
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My mom basically told me I should kill myself?

Postby daley » March 15th, 2014, 11:07 am

Just cut off all ties with her, but if you are not old enough to move out, find a trusted friend or relative to live with until you can.
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My mom basically told me I should kill myself?

Postby beagen39 » March 15th, 2014, 11:14 am

Well for starters your mom would never tell her own kids to go kill themselves. Unless she really is a maniac.
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My mom basically told me I should kill myself?

Postby caledvwich » March 15th, 2014, 11:26 am

Well ur a very strong person. Specially after reading about what has happened in ur past life. It is terrifying when parents r fighting its a huge mentel stress to deal with and uve dealt with it so powerfully. U even know tht ur mom has not lived a perfectly happy life. U should understand ur mom is not in the right state of mind. Her life sounds tragic but it has nothing to do with you. When a person is hopeless they will say bad things without even realizing their side effects. Don't worry everything will be alright. Make sure to ignore the hateful words. Try to become more calm then u can see a much more enhanced view of life, a grand view. U won't just see one side of life or a situation u will see the whole view. Keep strong and ur life has a purpose just know this! Wish u the best of luck!
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My mom basically told me I should kill myself?

Postby svartur » March 15th, 2014, 11:34 am

Hello...Your mom said that to you out of her on guilt. That's her way of trying to end the conversation because she knows u are correct. I think mom knows she hasn't been the greatest mother to her kids. I'm sorry your own mother talks down to you. I want u to take a good look at your life growing up..I bet when u become a parent u will give your kids the childhood you always wanted. U are a good person! Don't let her bad choice of words get to u...U are a wise person u already know how she is towards people. Let her words in one ear and out the other. Smile u are better then her! Take care...
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My mom basically told me I should kill myself?

Postby adamh79 » March 15th, 2014, 11:42 am

I can't really say anything that would change anything, but I guess that's just the point. Nobody can change the past or the people who are happy with going on the way that they always have. My bio-mother is the same. It's almost as if I had been dreaming all the bad things that happened to me as a child according to her, but the memories my siblings have and the my own memories say something completely different. There is nothing really I can do about her now or the things in the past, but just try to move past them. Forgive, but never forget. My birth ma and I don't speak.
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