Are up for some very silly Puns?

Are up for some very silly Puns?

Postby chanler28 » July 15th, 2013, 2:52 pm

Funny Puns

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What happened when the cow tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.

At the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, "Are you two an item?"

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

Where did the king put his armies? In his sleevies.

What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)

Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches.
Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is (you guessed it!) going for a song.

I used to be a doctor, but then I lost patients.

Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing? He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

Cannibals like to meat people.

A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet, and told he would not be released until he made up a pun about the situation. He immediately shouted, "Oh, pun the door!"

Did you hear about the cannibal who was late for dinner? He got the cold shoulder.

What happened to the lawyer who was thrown out of a saloon? He was disbarred.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud." "Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his meat grinder & got a little behind in his work?

What kind of coat can be put on only when wet? A coat of paint.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

What musical is about a train conductor? "My Fare, Lady"

Packing up and relocating to a new home can be a moving experience.

Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted.

What jumps from cake to cake and smells of almonds? Tarzipan.

Why did the little fella sleep on the chandelier? Because he was a light sleeper.

The truth may ring out like a bell, but it is seldom ever tolled.

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way

If you liked my Puns please give me a Star
I did not create them I just posted them from a site

thank you for viewing my puns!
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chanler28
 
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Are up for some very silly Puns?

Postby feoras » July 15th, 2013, 2:55 pm

Star for you.
I got a good laugh out of those.
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Are up for some very silly Puns?

Postby sterlyn6 » July 15th, 2013, 3:03 pm

Cute~
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Are up for some very silly Puns?

Postby yardly » July 15th, 2013, 3:07 pm

LMFAO GOOD ONES :))
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